The Slow Erosion: 5 Vital Life Skills Lost to Tech

Hey there, amazing parents!

Picture this: You started with the best intentions. Your kid needed a laptop for homework. Your tween needed a phone to text you after school. You even got a Fitbit to shed those extra pounds. But now, if you look around, devices are plugged into every nook and cranny in your home. Everyone's staring, tapping, tracking. While you're grateful for things like Google Maps and Netflix that make your life easier and more fun, something feels off.

It's the basics that are missing: courtesy, conversation, being bored, and appreciating simple pleasures.

But don't worry, this story has a twist. All hope is not lost. You may have to take another look at how your family is using tech and make adjustments based on your values. But you can do it. Here are five ways tech has nibbled away at valuable life skills and experiences, and what you can do about it.

🗣️ Home Assistants vs. Manners 🏡

Once upon a time, in a household filled with the voice of Alexa or Google Home, an unfortunate side effect emerged: a lack of enforced courtesy. Kids (and even adults) would shout commands at the device without a "please" or "thank you." The devices didn't mind, but the parents felt something was amiss.

What to do? Model the behavior you want to see. It might feel strange to say "please" to a machine, but if that's what you expect from your kids, you should do it too. It might help to explain to the little ones that even though Alexa doesn't have feelings, using polite voices and words makes it nicer for the real people in the house who do have feelings. You can talk about how it can feel bad to be around someone who's yelling or angry, even if they're not yelling at you.

👴 Phones vs. Respect for Elders 📱

In this story, imagine a teacher, a coach, or a grandparent trying to make conversation with kids who can't unglue their eyes from a screen. It's only polite to put down your phone when someone is talking to you, but it can be especially embarrassing for parents who were raised to defer to the older generation.

What to do? Make your expectations very clear. Talk to your kids about how important it is to use good manners when you're on your phone. Explain that it can be very difficult to put down your phone when you're in the middle of a game or chat, but you believe it's important to pay special respect to people like grandparents and elders. And of course, respect breeds respect, so put your phone down when your kid talks to you (unless it's about how much redstone they need to build a castle in Minecraft, in which case it's totally OK to ignore them!).

🙇‍♀️ Internet vs. Value of Boredom 🌐

In a world where a phone full of cute cat videos and funny memes is only a swipe away, it's easy to forget the value of boredom. But in this tale, science tells us that boredom is actually useful – for kids and adults alike. It leads to deep thinking, helps kids practice perseverance, and encourages them to explore their surroundings.

What to do? Create opportunities for boredom by setting up times and places where devices are off-limits. And make sure kids have unstructured time – even a little bit – where they can roam the house or the neighborhood without a schedule. Keep a list of activities that kids say they like to do – from drawing to hammering to bouncing a ball – and point them toward it when they complain.

🚶‍♂️ Activity Trackers vs. Activity for Its Own Sake 📊

In this chapter, imagine taking a walk with someone who's trying to get steps. It can be hard to concentrate on the conversation when they're jogging in place, hopping up and down, and constantly checking their device. Activity trackers tend to distract from the activity itself.

What to do? First, don't buy your kid an activity tracker unless they need it for a specific reason. Second, engage in lots of outdoor activity and fun exercise, and comment on how good it feels. And last, model the behavior and values you want to see in your kid – even if you're tracking your steps, wait until the walk is over to check your progress, for example.

📱 Devices vs. Empathy 🤳

In the final chapter, the mere presence of a phone on the table between two people having a discussion has been shown to decrease feelings of empathy. It's time to prioritize face-to-face conversation over devices.

What to do? Prioritize face-to-face conversation over devices by putting phones and tablets out of sight during meals. Recognize your thought pattern during conversations, and if you find yourself wondering about a missed call or guessing how many people liked your most recent Instagram post, refocus your concentration on your friend, spouse, or kid. And acknowledge how difficult digital distraction can be to manage yourself so that your kids understand that you think it's an important challenge to wrestle with.

And so, dear parents, as you embark on this journey to find balance in the digital age, remember that it's not about banning technology; it's about finding a balance that nurtures essential life skills. Embrace the digital world while preserving the values that matter most!